Valentine’s for Real

This morning I made a routine excursion to our local Walmart for necessities and I was disgusted to find the place overrun with frantic and overtired men at 8:30 in the morning. Yup, it’s Valentine’s Day and apparently scores of the members of the male population haven’t bought their presents yet, on the MORNING of the holiday.  There were herds of panic-stricken men representing all ages and types hovering over the cards, flowers and repackaged Halloween candy. Each one genuinely agonizing over the purchase for their significant other.

At first glance the display may seem cute: “Aw look, hubby is trying to surprise his wife before she wakes up.” But keep in mind here, these “sincere, heartfelt” gifts are being purchased at the very last minute possible in Walmart. Isn’t this slightly horrifying? There is no thought, no sincerity and no happiness enjoyed in the choice of the gifts. They aren’t even shelling out the big bucks! It’s all begrudgingly bestowed because the men are obligated and afraid. I thought Valentine’s Day was supposed to be about mutual love, not the consequence of an insufficient gift. And another thing: Why would any woman want to receive such a gift? I for one, don’t.

I’d rather pass up all the Hallmark holidays and accompanying burdensome presents for random acts of kindness and love whenever the feeling strikes. Ladies, wouldn’t it be infinitely more exciting to find a tiny box loaded with special trinkets in your sweater drawer on a random Sunday? Or buy something simply because you know your man would like it and give it to him that very night, just because. Or perhaps write a little note during lunch hour and mail it to him, only because you were thinking of him at the time. What good is all this mandatory present giving doing us? I honestly don’t see the point.

I’m not saying I disapprove of Valentine’s Day and the sentiments it represents. In a conceptual sense, I wholeheartedly approve. It seems to me that our modern notion of it has strayed much too far from what it was meant to be. And far be it from me to advise anyone on relationships. I’ve never even had a boyfriend, for Pete’s sake. I know I’m a dopey Romantic who is more than likely living in a silly dreamworld. Even so, I just can’t help being appalled at this whole nonsensical rigmarole. It truly seems like everyone (men and women alike)  is getting a raw deal here. Why not hold out for something better?



Filed under Rants

10 responses to “Valentine’s for Real

  1. I don’t know if you’ve seen the adverts, but there have also been commercials suggesting men go to Walgreens for last minute gifts for V-Day. A drug store? For Valentine gifts, really? I never have cared too much for Valentine’s Day, in part because I think romance should be 24/7 for couples, not one day out of the year.

  2. I like the idea of Valentine’s Day, but I do think it’s sad that a man would only do it because he’s afraid his girlfriend/wife will be angry if he doesn’t. Honestly, if Wal-Mart is all he can do or afford, that’s fine with me. But I only want him to do it because he really loves me and wants me to feel special, not because he’s afraid I’ll dump him! How hard is that for some men to work out? Sheesh.

  3. I don’t like seeing men out for last minute gifts because to me it just confirms that Valentine’s Day to them is an obligation. It should be a joyous day to share with a significant other!

    The men in your area are missing out because you are a catch for sure. :-)

  4. Mercurie – No, luckily I’ve missed those adverts. Walgreens is really very tacky, you’re right. I totally agree with you, romance should exist all year round! Who on earth made the rule that it’s only allowed to come out of it’s box on Valentine’s Day?

    Lizzie – It is sad! I don’t have a problem with Wal-mart presents in principle, either. It’s the whole thoughtlessness of the spectacle that disappoints me. And YES! I only want to receive a present that a man actually wishes me to have. No obligation presents here. I’d rather not have any presents than a present bought out of fear.

    Raquelle – You are so right! Valentine’s Day is meant to be just another excuse to spend extra time with your partner. It annoys me to death how it has been turned into a holiday of stress and aggravation. Hehee, thank you so much for the compliment! The sad part of it is, I’m not missing anything. All my friends who date only confirm all my reasons not to! ;D

    And thank you so much for the amazing support for this post, guys! I was a little apprehensive about voicing these thoughts, but you’ve made me feel much better about it!

  5. I think the whole holiday is ridiculous. The idea that love can be measured in flowers, cards, and chocolate — and God help the poor sap that doesn’t spring for all three — is nothing short of sad. I can’t help but lose a little respect for anyone, male or female, who gets too wrapped up in what’s basically just Black Friday for Hallmark and florists.

  6. Sam

    I think Valentine’s Day is a bit of a beat up by the card and flower companies – it’s a lovey idea but I am not so keen on the obligation to “be romantic” on cue. Love your blog by the way – I found it through “Flying Down to Hollywood”!

  7. I live opposite a florists shop and my office window over looks it. You should have seen the roaring trade they were doing yesterday. There was a trail of sheepish looking men going in and comming out with their flowers looking as if they would prefer not to be seen.

  8. Molly

    So true. I just stumbled across your blog and I think we’re kindred spirits or something, because I’ve always hated the idea of obligated romance. The only thing I want is sincerity! I know a lady who sets an alarm on her cell phone to remind her to kiss her husband or tell him she loves him 3 times daily. Isn’t that tragic?

  9. Caitlin– Very true. I’m sick and tired of listening to superficial people go on and on about how marvelous their relationship is because their partner bought something for them. Presents don’t make the love.

    Sam– Hello and welcome! I’m thrilled you found me, I’m a great fan of your art! Valentine’s Day has been devalued by the gift companies, you are right. I think it was a fairly nice idea in the beginning, and it’s still quite a nice tradition for kids, but grown-ups really need to move on already!

    Anne– That is truly disgraceful. How ridiculous! It is fascinating, though. It’s a worldwide phenomenon!

    Molly– Welcome! I’m so glad there are others out there who feel as I do. I seem to be surrounded by people who think obligated romance is the only way to go. Alerts to remind her to kiss her husband??? Doesn’t she want to on her own? That sounds like she was court-ordered to be a good wife! That really is tragic. I bet her husband doesn’t really like it. He’s like a burden to her. :(

  10. It’s over but I free ass valentines on my web page, and they were classic film related:

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